


Crash

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Post-TLJ Speculation [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Because Leia’s a horrible person, Character Bashing, Insomniac Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Love/Hate, M/M, Nightmares, POV Kylo Ren, POV Leia Organa, POV Poe Dameron, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, at least TLJ Leia is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-06-30 16:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15755031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After the events of The Last Jedi, Kylo Ren vows to go after Poe Dameron — that way, he thinks, he’ll get everything he ever wanted.





	1. Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

He had effectively lost everything. 

Even as his soldiers came in, prompted him to get back up off his knees, Kylo Ren knew that he had just about lost everything. All because of Skywalker. Skywalker had tried to kill him, and so he’d lost everything. To begin with, a sense of safety, a sense of belonging, Poe...

Kylo’s chest clenched even thinking about it. Losing the girl was bad enough — perhaps, in a twisted way, the closest thing that he had to a friend in a long time. He hadn’t loved her as he did Poe, but he had cared for her. 

But Poe...

_You did that yourself. When you said he couldn’t come with you._

If Poe had come with him...Kylo didn’t know what would have happened. Still, what a life they would have led. What glory they would have known. 

Kylo Ren reached the throne room of the _Supremacy,_ and sat down, feeling like just about all his energy had been drained from him. 

He had lost everything. And yet...

Perhaps he didn’t have to lose everything. Poe Dameron was still — was he in reach? 

Kylo Ren didn’t know. 

But he was going to get them both with him. The scavenger and the pilot. 

That was the best he could do.

 


	2. Caffa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe reflects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: I haven’t read the latest Poe Dameron comics with Rey and Finn. I should really amend this.

It was in his room that Poe Dameron woke, shaking and sweating and trying not to scream from his latest nightmare. He looked around the room, trying to reorient himself to his surroundings. He was safe, for the moment, okay — and it was now that his emotions, his memories, and plenty more had time to fully crash down on him.

Ben was Kylo Ren. 

The boy that he had been friends with, the boy that he was even starting to develop feelings for, had effectively tortured him. He had tried to joke about it with Rey, calling it a case of them being torture buddies, but the truth was that it hurt too much. 

Maybe joking about it was just his way of dealing with the pain. 

Poe brushed black hair out of his eyes and headed down to the kitchen of the Millennium Falcon. Stars willing he needed some caffa just to deal with...just about any of this. 

He headed out of his room on the Falcon. Across the hall, Jess was muttering about feeding the porgs, which...whatever she was dreaming about, Poe knew he’d kill to have those sorts of dreams instead. 

He prepared his caffa in the empty kitchen, taking sips of it from the mug. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go back to sleep, if he was to be perfectly honest. Everything seemed to be hitting him at once and he doubted he could deal with it. 

Ben...was there a way to help Ben, he couldn’t help but wonder. Any way at all. From what Rey had said, he seemed to just have, honestly, lost his mind. Like something in the boy who had been Ben Solo had snapped, and couldn’t quite be put right again. There had to be some way to help him. Anything. 

Could Poe save him? 

Could Poe just forgive him? Poe had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to. But he loved him as strongly as that. The two feelings...

Could they be conflicting? Could they be part of the same whole? 

Perhaps they could. Perhaps they would. 

The caffa was calming him a bit. Just a bit, but a bit was better than nothing. Poe got up, made his way back to his room. He didn’t want to sleep; it was like every bit of pain scraped through his head like Ben’s invisible scraping fingers in his brain, rummaging, reaching. 

He lay back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to memorize shadows on it, anything to help him fall back asleep. 

 


	3. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance is captured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Breakfast in the mess hall, Poe picked at his food. Sleep had taken him under this time around, and he had dreamed of Ben. Ben, struggling in the grip of some shadowy tentacle, opening his mouth as if begging for Poe to save him, but no words coming out. 

It was Ben, Poe knew that, because he didn’t have the scar on his face, because he looked younger, the age that he had left — the age that he had effectively abandoned Poe. 

“Poe, buddy, you okay?” Snap, this time. “Y’know, eating something will do you good.”

Poe supposed. He couldn’t say that any of the food really looked appetizing, actually. Not just because it seemed vomited out by the Corellian hells, but also because he just didn’t feel like eating. He pushed his plate aside. Across the room, he could hear the whispers. Dark Dameron, one of the whispers went. His fault we lost part of the Resistance. He and Finn and Rose, another whisper went. 

The whispers from some of the other Resistance members went on. Poe forced air into his lungs, forced himself to calm down. 

“They don’t know a damn thing about you,” Jess said. “Really really.”

”I kriffed up, Jess.”

”So did Holdo. So did everyone. So did that DJ  guy — well, he did it on purpose. But you get my point, Poe. It’s not your fault.”

”And...”

”And Kylo torturing you wasn’t your fault either,” Jess said. Now her voice took on an angry edge. “He’s a monster and a traitor. How the kriff Ben Solo could have done that, I don’t know.”

Silence in the mess hall. The whispers died down; it was obvious that others hadn’t known. 

“Ben Solo?” one of the mess hall inhabitants said. “So the General’s son did this, and the General hid it like some dirty secret?”

Poe didn’t answer. Jess, though, said, “I don’t know. I really don’t.” 

Another mess hall inhabitant spoke up. “You think she just abused him to the point he snapped?”

Poe shook his head. “The General wouldn’t...”

”Well, look at what she did to you,” the inhabitant said. “Just because you wouldn’t go along with everything that Holdo schutta said.”

“I was wrong,” Poe protested. 

“The General’s just as guilty as her son of war crimes, and we should throw her in the brig.”

”No,” Poe said. “She’s been fighting the First Order longer than any of us. You can’t do that.” A beat. “Besides, if anything, the General wasn’t the one who abused him. No one did.” And yet, Poe thought, something about that statement didn’t quite sit well with him. 

Even getting up, he could swear that the General had her back turned to the others, so still that she seemed to shake, before walking away. Probably going to the cockpit to see what was going on. 

Probably getting away from the others. 

***

The cockpit was relatively empty except for Chewie when Leia entered it. She wasn’t crying; it wasn’t enough to make her break down. But she knew she was angry. How could  anyone have said that she abused Ben, when she had done nothing but love the undeserving creature as much as she could? Even seen Light in him? There was no Light in that hollow shell, though. He was a monster, and he needed to be put down, and Leia knew she’d do it gladly. She wondered absently what it would be like, killing her own imitation-Vader offspring. Like killing a ghost...

And even that was enough to inspire even a pinprick of shame in Leia. Mothers weren’t supposed to do that. Mothers weren’t supposed to want, to crave to kill their own offspring. Even if the creature had all but skewered their own father with a lightsaber. 

Mothers weren’t supposed to hate their own offspring. Even Han hadn’t hated Kylo Ren. Somehow. 

Somehow. 

The proximity alarms on the Falcon went off in that moment, and Leia could feel through the Force that her son had found her. Found all of them. They were caught in a tractor beam and they didn’t have any shrouds to throw it off. 

They were trapped. 

***

The _Supremacy_  had found the _Falcon_. It was just a matter of tracking, using the still-intact device on the Supremacy to find the piece of junk. Kylo hated it, hated the uncomfortable memories that it brought up with it, but he had to admit that it was useful for one thing: bringing the Resistance to him. 

The General meant nothing to him. After she had rejected him — despite the fact he’d spared her miserable life — she meant as little to him as he no doubt did to her. But Poe, Rey...

They were the most important. Above all others, no matter what. 

Preserve them at all costs. 

Kylo sat back on his throne, and some hint of a smile crossed his face. 

His plan was coming together, and it was beautiful. 


End file.
